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Sunday, July 28, 2019

LOVE THE KEY TO LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP

Part 1

How easy it is to destroy the thing we love! How quickly a barrier comes between us—a word, a gesture, a smile! Health, mood, and desire cast a shadow, and what was bright becomes dull and burdensome. Through usage we wear ourselves out, and that which was sharp and clear becomes wearisome and confused. Through constant friction, hope, and frustration, that which was beautiful and simple becomes fearful and expectant.  Relationship is complex and difficult, and few can come out of it unscathed. Though we would like it to be static, enduring, continuous, relationship is a movement, a process which must be deeply and fully understood and not made to conform to an inner or outer pattern. Conformity, which is the social structure, loses its weight and authority only when there is love. Love in relationship is a purifying process as it reveals the ways of the self. Without this revelation, relationship has little significance.
But how we struggle against this revelation! The struggle takes many forms: dominance or subservience, fear or hope, jealousy or acceptance, and so on and on. The difficulty is that we do not love; and if we do love we want it to function in a particular way, we do not give it freedom. We love with our minds and not with our hearts. Mind can modify itself, but love cannot; mind can make itself invulnerable, but love cannot; mind can always withdraw, be exclusive, become personal or impersonal.  Love is not to be compared and hedged about. Our difficulty lies in that which we call love, which is really of the mind. We fill our hearts with the things of the mind and so keep our hearts ever empty and expectant. It is the mind that clings, that is envious, that holds and destroys. Our life is dominated by the physical centers and by the mind. We do not love and let it alone, but crave to be loved; we give in order to receive, which is the generosity of the mind and not of the heart. The mind is ever seeking certainty, security; and can love be made certain by the mind? Can the mind—whose very essence is of time—catch love, which is its own eternity?
But even the love of the heart has its own tricks, for we have so corrupted our heart that it is hesitant and confused. It is this that makes life so painful and wearisome. One moment we think we have love, and the next it is lost: there comes an imponderable strength, not of the mind, whose sources may not be fathomed; this strength is again destroyed by the mind, for in this battle the mind seems invariably to be the victor.  This conflict within ourselves is not to be resolved by the cunning mind or by the hesitant heart. There is no means, no way to bring this conflict to an end. The very search for a means is another urge of the mind to be the master, to put away conflict in order to be peaceful, to have love, to become something.
Our greatest difficulty is to be widely and deeply aware that there is no means to love as a desirable end of the mind. When we understand this really and profoundly, then there is a possibility of receiving something that is not of this world. Without the touch of that something, do what we will, there can be no lasting happiness in relationship. If you have received that benediction and I have not, naturally you and I will be in conflict.  You may not be in conflict, but I will be; and in my pain and sorrow I cut myself off. Sorrow is as exclusive as pleasure, and until there is that love which is not of my making, relationship is pain. If there is the benediction of that love, you cannot but love me whatever I may be, for then you do not shape love according to my behavior.
Whatever tricks the mind may play, you and I are separate; though we may be in touch with each other at some points, integration is not with you, but within myself. This integration is not brought about by the mind at any time; it comes into being only when the mind is utterly silent, having reached the end of its own tether. Only then is there no pain in relationship. 
You cannot think about love rather it is feeler. 
If you observe, what makes us stale in our relationship is thinking, thinking, thinking, calculating, judging, weighing, adjusting ourselves; and the one thing which frees us from that is love, which is not a process of thought. You cannot think about love. You can think about the person whom you love, but you cannot think about love. 
We do not know what love is ...
We do not know what love is: we know pleasure; we know the lust, the pleasure that is derived from that and the fleeting happiness which is shrouded off with thought, with sorrow. We do not know what “to love” means. Love is not a memory; love is not a word; love is not the continuity of a thing that has given you pleasure. You may have relationship, you may say, “I love my wife”; but you don’t love. If you love your wife, there is no jealousy, there is no dominance, there is no attachment.
We do not know what love is, because we do not know what beauty is—the beauty of a sunset, the cry of a child, the swift movement of the bird across the sky, all the exquisite colors of a sunset. You are totally unaware, insensitive to all that; therefore, you are also insensitive to life. 
Is love permanent?
An experience of pleasure makes us demand more of it, and the more is this urge to be secure in our pleasures. If we love someone, we want to be quite sure that that love is returned, and we seek to establish a relationship which we at least hope will be permanent. All our society is based on that relationship. But is there anything which is permanent? Is there? Is love permanent? Our constant desire is to make sensation permanent, is it not? And the thing which cannot be made permanent, which is love, passes us by.
The state of love is not of the past or of the future.
I wonder if you have ever considered the nature of love? Loving is one thing, and having loved is another. Love has no time. You cannot say, “I have loved”—it has no meaning. Then love is dead, you do not love: the state of love is not of the past or of the future. Similarly, knowledge is one thing, and the movement of knowing is another. Knowledge is binding, but the movement of knowing is not binding.
Just feel your way into this, don’t accept or deny it. You see, knowledge has the quality of time; it is time-bound, whereas the movement of knowing is timeless. If I want to know the nature of love, of meditation, of death, I cannot accept or deny anything. My mind must be in a state, not of doubt, but of inquiry—which means that it has no bondage to the past. The mind that is in the movement of knowing is free of time, because there is no accumulation.
What happens when there's no love in a relationship?  When there's no love in a relationship, there tends to chaos,  troubles,  constant fighting and disagreement between two coupled. 
Love is a feelings of deep affection,   emotions and attitude toward someone.  Love isn't just being physically interested in person rather it has to do with what you feel mostly affectionately and emotionally. 
Before rushing into relationship,  have you take time to study to partner and now if he really love or or just lusting over you or you over him/her. 
Lust and love are two different feelings entirely.  Lust ad defined by the oxford English Dictionary is a " very strong sexual desire especially when love is not involved."   You see the  clear difference? 
Many rush into relationship without minding to look clearly or rather observe if the relationship they want to involve theirselves in,  if its out of love or lust. 
A relationship based upon lust can never last rather it brings disagreement, argument and regrets.  Most times it causes unfaithfulness in a relationship. 
You see its always nice and good to be careful, very very careful before choosing a life partner.  Take your time to be sure of who you are gonna GI into relationship with,  ask yourself these questions:  Do I love him?  If yes,  does he reciprocate the love a have foe him?  Can we be happy together? 
After asking yourselve these questions,  look for the answer then,  only then you can come into conclusion of whether to be with the person or not. 

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Friday, July 26, 2019

Welcome to sokariblog

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This is blog owned by Alwell ogolo sokari.
We are concerned about your health. We are here at your beck and call to give you the best health tips in order for you to live a healthy life, inspirational and motivational words to help you sail away from the shallows of depression and discouragement.
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Your Health, Your Wealth


Keeping fit and healthy helps a great deal in human body. Its always good to stay fit, do exercises and eat healthy foods always to stay healthy.
Its always good and nice to eat healthy foods because they have to grease the functional parts of our body. Eating in an unhealthy environment are harmful to our health as we are liable to contact dangerous sickness from harmful organism that might have had their way into our foods, water or even cloths.
Yes clothes! You might be imagining why I made mention of clothes, let me clear your doubts, when harmful organisms Like lice, cockroaches and others, live inside our cloths, caps or even shoes, what’s expected of us when bitten by such pests?
We get infected with diseases through the bites gotten from those pests.
Best tips on how to live a healthy life:
The supposed topics to be discussed are listed below, take time read and apply the measures and Tips noted.
1 Eating (diet)
2 Physical activity and exercise
3 Avoid tobacco use
4 Avoid excessive alcohol consumption
5 Avoid high-risk sexual behaviors
6 Avoid other high-risk behaviors
7 Additional tips for healthy living
Healthy living facts
This article is designed to give tips to readers about how they can improve or augment actions in their life to have a healthy lifestyle; it is not meant to be all inclusive but will include major components that are considered to be parts of a lifestyle that lead to good health. In addition to the tips about what people should do for healthy living, the article will mention some of the tips about avoiding actions (the don’ts) that lead to unhealthy living.
“Healthy living” to most people implies the equilibrium balance of functions of both physical and mental health functioning well together in a person. In many instances, physical and mental health are closely linked, so that a change (good or bad) in one directly affects the other. Consequently, some of the tips will include suggestions for emotional and mental “healthy living.”
√ Eating (diet)
All humans have to eat food for growth and maintenance of a healthy body, but we humans have different requirements as infants, children (kids), teenagers, young adults, adults. For example, infants may require feeding every four hours until they gradually become of age and begin to take in more solid foods. Eventually they develop into the normal eating routine which is three times per day as young kids. However, as most parents know, kids, teenagers, and young adults often snack between meals. Snacking is often not limited to these age groups because adults and seniors often do the same.
#tips to note:
Eat three meals a day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner); it is important to remember that dinner does not have to be the largest meal.
The bulk of food consumption should consist of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fat-free or low-fat milk products.
Choose lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, eggs, and nuts (with emphasis on beans and nuts).
Choose foods that are low in saturated fats, trans fats, cholesterol, salt (sodium), and added sugars; look at the labels because the first listed items on the labels comprise the highest concentrations of ingredients.
Control portion sizes; eat the smallest portion that can satisfy hunger and then stop eating.
Snacks are OK in moderation and should consist of items like fruit, whole grains, or nuts to satisfy hunger and not cause excessive weight gain.
Avoid sodas and sugar-enhanced drinks because of the excessive calories in the sodas and sugar drinks; diet drinks may not be a good choice as they make some people hungrier and increase food consumption.
Avoid eating a large meal before sleeping to decrease gastroesophageal reflux and weight gain.
If a person is angry or depressed, eating will not solve these situations and may make the underlying problems worse.
Avoid rewarding children with sugary snacks; such a pattern may become a lifelong habit for people.
Avoid heavy meals in the summer months, especially during hot days.
A vegetarian lifestyle has been promoted for a healthy lifestyle and weight loss; vegetarians should check with their physicians to be sure they are getting enough vitamins, minerals, and iron in their food.
Cooking foods (above 165 F) destroys most harmful bacteria and other pathogens; if you choose to eat uncooked foods like fruits or vegetables, they should be thoroughly washed with running treated (safe to drink) tap water right before eating because its unsafe when the supposed water is contaminated.
Avoid eating raw or undercooked meats of any type.
#Tips for special situations:
People with diabetes should use the above tips and monitor their glucose levels as directed; try to keep the daily blood glucose levels as close to normal as possible.
People with unusual work schedules (night shifts, college students, military) should try to adhere to a breakfast, lunch, and dinner routine with minimal snacking.
People who prepare food should avoid using grease or frying foods in grease.
People trying to lose weight (body fat) should avoid all fatty and sugary foods and eat mainly vegetables, fruits, and nuts and markedly reduce his/her intake of meat and dairy products.
Seek medical advice early if you cannot control your weight, food intake, or if you have diabetes and cannot control your blood glucose levels.
√√Physical activity and exercise√√
Physical activity and exercise is a major contributor to a healthy lifestyle; people are made to use their bodies, and disuse leads to unhealthy living. Unhealthy living may manifest itself in obesity, weakness, lack of endurance, and overall poor health that may foster disease development.
#Tips to note:
Regular exercise can prevent and reverse age-related decreases in muscle mass and strength, improve balance, flexibility, and endurance, and decrease the risk of falls in the elderly. Regular exercise can help prevent coronary heart disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure. Regular, weight-bearing exercise can also help prevent osteoporosis by building bone strength.
Regular exercise can help chronic arthritis sufferers improve their capacity to perform daily activities such as driving, climbing stairs, and opening jars.
Regular exercise can help increase self-esteem and self-confidence, decrease stress and anxiety, enhance mood, and improve general mental health.
Regular exercise can help control weight gain and in some people cause loss of fat.
Thirty minutes of modest exercise (walking is OK) at least three to five days a week is recommended, but the greatest health benefits come from exercising most days of the week.
Exercise can be broken up into smaller 10-minute sessions.
Start slowly and progress gradually to avoid injury or excessive soreness or fatigue. Over time, build up to 30 to 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise every day.
People are never too old to start exercising. Even frail, elderly individuals (70-90 years of age) can improve their strength and balance with exercise.
Almost any type of exercise (resistance, water aerobics, walking, swimming, weights, yoga, and many others) is helpful for everybody.
Children need exercise; play outside of the home is a good beginning.
Sports for children may provide excellent opportunities for exercise, but care must be taken not to overdo certain exercises (for example, throwing too many pitches in baseball may harm a joint like the elbow or shoulder).
Exertion during strenuous exercise may make a person tired and sore, but if pain occurs, stop the exercise until the pain source is discovered; the person may need to seek medical help and advice about continuation of such exercise.
Most individuals can begin moderate exercise, such as walking, without a medical examination. The following people, however, should consult a doctor before beginning more vigorous exercise:
Men over age 40 or women over age 50
Individuals with heart or lung disease, asthma, arthritis, or osteoporosis
Individuals who experience chest pressure or pain with exertion, or who develop fatigue or shortness of breath easily
Individuals with conditions that increase their risks of developing coronary heart disease, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, cigarette smoking, high blood cholesterol, or having family members who had early onset heart attacks and coronary heart disease
Individuals who are morbidly obese
Consequences of physical inactivity and lack of exercise:
Physical inactivity and lack of exercise are associated with heart disease and some cancers.
Physical inactivity and lack of exercise are associated with type II diabetes mellitus (also known as maturity or adult-onset, non-insulin-dependent diabetes).
Physical inactivity and lack of exercise contribute to weight gain.
Mental health
Healthy living involves more than physical health, it also includes emotional or mental health. The following are some ways people can support their mental health and well-being.
#Tips to note:
Get enough sleep daily; the CDC recommends the following by age group (naps inclusive); 12-18 hours from birth to 2 months, 14-15 hours from 3-11 months of age, 12-18 hours for 1-3 years of age, 11-13 hours for 3-5 years of age, 10-11 hours for 5-10 years of age, eight and a half to nine and a half hours for 10-17 years of age and those 18 and above need seven to nine hours of sleep. Elderly people need about seven to nine hours but do not sleep as deeply and may awaken at night or wake early, so naps (like kids need) allow them to accumulate the total of seven to nine hours of sleep.
Take a walk and reflect on what you see and hear at least several times per week.
Try something new and often (eat a new food, try a different route to work, go to a new museum display).
Do some mind exercises (read, do a puzzle occasionally during the week).
Try to focus on a process intensely and complete a segment of it over one to several hours, then take a break and do something relaxing (walk, exercise, short nap).
Plan to spend some time talking with other people about different subjects.
Try to make some leisure time to do some things that interest you every week (hobby, sport).
Learn ways to say “no” when something occurs that you do not want to do or be involved with.
Have fun (go on a trip with someone you love, go shopping, go fishing; do not let vacation time slip away).
Let yourself be pleased with your achievements, both big and small (develop contentment).
Have a network of friends; those with strong social support systems lead healthier lives.
Seek help and advice early if you feel depressed, have suicidal thoughts, or consider harming yourself or others.
People taking medicine for mental-health problems should not stop taking these medications, no matter how “well” they feel, until they have discussed their situation with their prescribing doctor(s).
Avoidance behavior is another key to healthy living. Below are described some of the major items to avoid if a person is seeking a healthy lifestyle.
Drugs to avoid:
Avoid tobacco use
Tobacco use is the most important preventable illness and cause of death in the U.S., according to the National Cancer Institute (NCI). Tobacco use was estimated to be the cause of 443,000 deaths in 2010 in the U.S.
#Tip:
Stop smoking tobacco; start to stop today (it takes about 15 years of nonsmoking behavior to achieve a “normal” risk level for heart disease for those that smoke).
Stop using chewing tobacco to avoid oral cancers.
Adverse consequences of tobacco use:
Tobacco use causes or contributes to a large number of cancers in the U.S. In men, 90% of lung cancer deaths are attributable to smoking; 80% in women. Tobacco use causes cancers of the lung, mouth, lip, tongue, esophagus,kidney, and bladder. It also further increases the risk of bladder cancer in subjects occupationally exposed to certain organic chemicals found in the textile, leather, rubber, dye, paint, and other organic chemical industries, and further increases the risk of lung cancer among subjects exposed to asbestos.
Tobacco use causes atherosclerotic arterial disease (hardening and narrowing of the arteries) that can lead to heart attacks, strokes, and lack of blood flow to the lower extremities. Tobacco use causes an estimated 20%-30% of coronary heart disease in the U.S. It also further increases the risk of heart attacks among subjects with elevated cholesterol, uncontrolled hypertension, obesity, and a sedentary lifestyle.
Tobacco use causes an estimated 20% of chronic lung diseases in the U.S., such as chronic bronchitis and emphysema, and causes pneumonia in those with chronic lung disease. The CDC, in 2011, estimated that 90% of deaths from chronic obstructive lung disease (COPD) were due to smoking.
Pregnant women who smoke are more likely to deliver babies with low birth weight.
Secondhand smoke can cause middle-ear infections (otitis media), coughing, wheezing, bronchitis, and pneumonia in babies, and aggravate asthma in children. Secondhand smoke (sometimes referred to as passive smoking) can also cause lung cancer.
Comments and recommendations (tips):
Quitting smoking is difficult to accomplish; tobacco contains nicotine, which is addictive. Some smokers can quit “cold turkey,” but for most, quitting smoking requires a serious life-long commitment and an average of six quitting attempts before success.
Quitting smoking efforts may include behavior modification, counseling, use of nicotine chewing gum (Nicorette Gum), nicotine skin patches (Transderm Nicotine), or oral medications such as bupropion (Zyban).
Avoid excessive alcohol consumption.
Adverse consequences of excessive alcohol consumption:
Chronic, excess alcohol consumption is the major cause of liver cirrhosis in the U.S.
Liver cirrhosis can cause internal hemorrhage, fluid accumulation in the abdomen, easy bleeding and bruising, muscle wasting, mental confusion, infections, and in advanced cases, coma, and kidney failure.
Liver cirrhosis can lead to liver cancer.
Alcohol accounts for 40%-50% of deaths from automobile accidents in the U.S.
Alcohol use is a significant cause of injury and death from home accidents, drowning, and burns.
Comments and recommendations (tips):
There are many treatments for alcoholism. But the crucial first step to recovery is for the individual to admit there is a problem and make a commitment to address the alcoholism issue. The 12-step-style self-help programs, pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous, can be one effective treatment. Psychologists and related professionals have developed programs to help individuals better handle emotional stresses and avoid behaviors that can lead to excess drinking. Support and understanding from family members are often critical for sustained recovery. Medication can be useful for the prevention of relapses and for withdrawal symptoms following acute or prolonged intoxications
Avoid high-risk sexual behaviors
High-risk sexual behavior can lead to the acquisition of sexually transmitted illnesses such as gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, or HIV infection. High-risk sexual behavior is also known to spread human papillomavirus infection, which can lead to cervical cancer in women and other anogenital cancers in both men and women. High-risk sexual behaviors include the following:
Multiple sex partners
Sex partners with a history of the following:
Intravenous drug use
Venereal disease (sexually transmitted diseases or STDs)
Adverse consequences of high-risk sexual behavior:
Transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes)
Transmission of hepatitis B (50% of hepatitis B infections are due to sexual transmission) and, in rare instances, hepatitis C
Transmission of human papilloma virus (HPV), which can cause genital warts and anogenital carcinomas, most commonly cancer of the uterine cervix
Unplanned pregnancy
Recommendations (tips
Avoid unprotected sex (sex without barriers such as a condom) outside an established, committed, monogamous relationship.
If you plan to have sex and are unsure of your partner’s health status, use a condom.
Avoid the following :
a) Avoid other high-risk behaviors
b) Driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Driving while sleep-deprived
c) Reckless driving and speeding, “road rage”
d) Driving while using cell phones, texting, or performing other tasks
e) Motorcycle (and bicycle) riding without helmets
f) Possession of firearms and guns without proper training and storage
g) Smoking in bed
Adverse consequences of high-risk behaviors:
Motor vehicle accidents account for 40%-50% of accidental deaths.
Motorcycle accidents are a major cause of serious head injuries.
Firearms and guns account for a significant proportion of deaths among adolescents due to male suicide and homicide.
Smoking in be can be dangerous.
Tips to note:
1) When driving, use seat restraints on all passengers, both front and rear seats.
2) Do not drink and drive.
3) Do not drive if sleep deprived.
4) Avoid unnecessary distractions and focus on the road and traffic while driving (avoid texting, talking on cell phones, eating, applying makeup, or other distractions).
5) Use helmets while riding bicycles and motorcycles. Helmet use reduces deaths from motorcycle accidents by 30% and serious head injuries by 75%.
6) Obtain proper training in the use and storage of guns and ammunition.
7) Use smoke detectors; avoid smoking in bed.
Adverse consequences of excess sun exposure:
1]Melanoma and other skin cancers
Avoid sunburns and sun exposure by using adequate skin protection; use brimmed hats, protective clothing, and sunscreen.
Sunscreens have undergone changes, and the U.S. FDA (Food and Drug Administration) published new requirements that sunscreens needed to meet starting in 2012. Currently, the FDA suggests an effective sunscreen is rated as SPF 30 or higher and has both UVA and UVB protection (protection against ultraviolet waves of types A and B). In most instances, sunscreen needs to be applied every two hours and each time after a person has gone swimming.
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